Set the Tone with Your Tone

We spend a lot of time communicating with work colleagues, family, friends, even total strangers either in our mother tongue or a foreign language. Generally, we concentrate on what we're saying - to get our message across or to make a point, not on how we're saying it.

To focus just on the tone, recall a conversation you heard or a foreign film you saw in a language you didn't understand. Just by listening, you were probably able to tell if the people were having a friendly chat or an argument. Without knowing what was said, the tone of their words gave you clues as to the emotion of the conversation.

Now think back to a time when you took offense to something a colleague said to you. Was it the content or the manner in which it was said that bothered you? If the tone didn't match the message, you probably questioned the intention behind it. Did it trigger an emotional reaction in you? How did it affect your energy level?

The tone of speech has a larger impact on us than the words being spoken. Although words can conjure up an emotion, the tone attaches emotion to the meaning of what is being said. By changing the tone, the meaning changes.

Using upbeat tones creates more harmony in your relationships. It can help you be better understood and as a result, more energetic. Conversely, stern or more serious tones are great for emphasis. The key is to make a conscious choice.

How aware are you of the tones you use?